Thanks, but I'll pass next time...

I passed out today, people. For the first time ever, and hopefully, the last time ever.

First off, I would like to say that fainting is not glamorous, as some romance movies would have us believe. Maybe it's because I actually fell onto the ground instead of into Mr. Perfect's arms (because, of course, he is always there at the exact moment needed). I didn't wake up to a robust man stroking my hair and pleading for me to wake up because he desperately needed me in his life.


Nope, I woke up with a headache. And with my younger siblings standing over me asking, "Dani, are you dead?"

Passing out isn't at glorious as I first thought. I've practiced all sorts of falls for acting, so the real thing shouldn't hurt that bad, right? Wrong. It hurts. It's traumatizing (I spent 20 minutes in the bathroom sobbing afterwords). And if I had the choice, I would never do it again. Not even into Mr. Perfect's arms. Nothing doing.

I guess I don't really have the choice though. I mean honestly, I wasn't planning on fainting today.

I didn't think walking from the sink to the couch was going to knock me flat on my face. I was terribly dizzy, and my only thought was to get to the couch. But unfortunately, I only made it halfway before I "fell asleep" and started thinking all these weird, random thoughts. I woke up with a blasting headache- It turns out the side of my glasses nailed the side of my head and went flying off my face (but thank God they didn't break). 

Passing out was more than painful- it was scary. My brother fainted in a doctor's office and needed emergency brain surgery because of it. I could've been hurt very badly. What if I'd been on my way down the stairs? What if I'd have hit my head on the door frame or fridge (which could've happened)? But instead, my head fell onto my volleyball bag filled with exercise clothes. It was like a perfect little pillow set up just for me. I have a feeling there was some divine intervention going on there! And I am so grateful to God for the way He protected me.  

Anyways, I hope none of you ever have to face the trauma of passing out. And if you do, I pray you've got a strong, handsome man behind to catch you!

The way to my heart is through my... elliptical machine?!?

The other day, my two guy friends came over to help me clean out our shop. It was quite an adventure- sweeping up cobwebs and killing spiders, taking the back door off of our house to move the treadmill out to the shop... Their muscles proved handy in more than one instance though :)

As Jacob and Eric moved our elliptical machine across the lawn to the shop, I realized how awesome it would be to have somebody on the elliptical while they carried it. I mentally added this to my ever-expanding bucket list and briefly mentioned it to the guys (I think you know where I am going with this :) Of course (them being the wonderful, awesome, muscle men they are :) they told me they'd do it right then. I'm sure it was craziest thing my neighbors have seen me do yet, but I've never been so happy to look so ridiculous...

I am totally cracking up as I look at this...

I can't believe they actually walked with me on this.

I can't believe I had the guts.  

 

Sometimes my life is a nightmare, sometimes it's beautiful. Other times, it's just plain wacky! But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love who I am and love those who are a part of my adventure. Whether I'm being carried like a queen by the guys or crying alone in my room, I know I am loved. I don't have to pretend- yeah, sometimes, I can be an idiot. Sometimes I can be a brat. And sometimes I can be really fun. But it doesn't matter- I know God loves me, and I don't have to hide my true self. This realization has given me strength to do some of the coolest, scariest, and best experiences of my life. And there is never a dull moment!

Best. Weekend. Ever.

If you would have asked me two weeks ago whether I was excited to go to the Stuebenville Northwest conference with my church, I would've hesitated to reply. Earlier in the year, I had felt the call to go and signed up. But the weeks leading up to the conference were full of confusion, disappointment, and doubt. As the day drew closer, I felt an obligation to follow through with my commitment to attend the conference because everything was already paid for through my fundraising, and wise counsel of mine advised me to go. It was a tough go around, especially since I had to give up a trip to Tennessee as well as forfeit any hopes of going on a different trip with my friends.

Honestly, I had a pretty sour attitude about the whole ordeal. But after having the worst grounding of my life (it only lasted about 2 days, but it was the worst ever), I realized I would rather make the most out of my situation then sit, pout, and be miserable for 4 days.

Funny how God knows exactly what you need when you need it. Even when you don't think you need it.

Our youth group teamed up with two other churches, one from Grants Pass Oregon and the other from St. Joe's in Kennewick. We loaded onto a bus and headed over to Idaho to Silverwood Theme Park for a day of fun before the spiritual aspect of the weekend began.

 

Holy Spirit youth group outside Silverwood

If you can't find me, I'm the one crouching behind the woman in blue aka

BEST youth leader ever. I love you Jen! 

When it was time to get started, I headed straight to the coasters (my favorites!) It turns out that the gal I rode with on the first ride, Tremors, wasn't quite so fond of roller coasters as I am :)

 

Annie and I waiting to load Tremors... Annie was freaking out before we buckled up,

but she was so brave and conquered her fears...

 

This picture is priceless!

Way to go, Annie :) 

 

The rest of the day consisted of more roller coasters (including my favorite, the Aftershock :), epic water slides, and kiddie parachute rides (yes, I did ride that one. I have a picture to prove it!). It turned out to be a pretty good day considering my previous disposition about the whole thing. Little did I know that was the icing of the cake for my whole weekend...

We spent the night in a gym, where I got the eqivilent of about two hours of sleep. That floor was hard! The next afternoon, we headed to Spokane, Washington to finish out the weekend.

 

A few of us in front of our beautiful little bus, with no air-conditioning and busted speakers :)

 

We found these metal running statues while we were hanging out

in Spokane by the mall. There's me, the one keeled over and

dying. Yep, that's pretty accurate :)

 

 

At the conference center after checking into the Gonzaga dorms, waiting to be let into the theater.

Yes, that is me sprawled out in the middle of the floor.

 

The Stuebenville kids packed into the theater. There were about

1,200 of us!

I wish I could put into words what happened to me when I walked though the doors of that conference. I cried more tears, felt more peace, and experienced more love during this conference than I ever have before. I was stirred so deeply inside. I felt God's presence so strongly. The worship was intense, the speakers were gripping, and the Spirit was so thick. And adoration? Unexplainable. Three and a half hours of adoring Christ in the Eucharist. I cried the entire time. Jesus poured out His great love. He poured out His great love on me. And I will never, ever be the same.

For the first time in my life, I was following Christ because I wanted to. My whole life, I obeyed God because it was what I should do. But during the course of the weekend, I realized that I shouldn't obey the law because I ought to. I should LOVE Christ with everything in me, and following the law will just happen. And for the first time ever, I am obeying God because He is the Love of my life and I am following Him, not just because it's my duty as a Christian.  I am motivated by Love. And it is the most freeing thing I have ever experienced. I feel a drive to be good, not so God will love me, but because I love Him!

Not only was the trip AMAZING spiritually, but it was a great experience in general. I got to bond with my youth group in a way I haven't before. We played games together, ate together, explored together. I made new friendships and refreshed old friendships. I loved my dorm roomies, and my small group was so personal and intimate. And I got to ride on a stinking school bus! It wasn't the most comfortable thing I've ever done, but a girl's gotta do it at least once in her life! There were dance parties in the back, snacks everywhere, some great fellowship, and some even greater pranks :). *sigh* I love road trips!

 

The Holy Spirit Youth portion of the bus :)

Good times...

I shudder to think of what I would've missed out on had I been a prideful snot and canceled my plans to come to this conference. I am a new woman. I am renewed in Christ. His Holy Spirit dwells in me to give me strength. And I'm going to need it.

I am changed. Jesus is first in my life. I am different than I was a week ago. Majorly. And I understand that this may mean an end to some of my friendships. It is so hard, but I know that God will help me through this. My life cannot stay the same after what I have experienced. What prisoner after being freed from slavery goes back to it's master? I was a slave to sin- gossip, drama, resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness. But I have been redeemed. My Savior is guiding me, helping me when I fall, and giving me strength.

Lord, the Creator of the Universe, Creator of my soul, Love of my life- I hand to you, Sweet Jesus, every friendship that I hold dear to my heart. You've changed me for the better, Lord, and I will give up any sinful patterns for Your Name's sake, Jesus. Even if it means leaving the ones I love the most. I pray for Your strength to overcome me and all those from the Stuebenville conference. Help us to grow in You everyday and remember how much You love and cherish Your children. Touch our hearts everyday, and give us a renewed vigor to walk in Your ways always. Even when it hurts. In Jesus' Holy name, Amen.

"Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11

"Then hear from heaven and forgive the sin of your servants, your people Israel. Teach them the right way to live, and send rain on the land you gave your people for an inheritance." 1 Kings 8:36