Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Christmas Sweaters 101

Its that time of year again- time to pull out the nativity scene, deck the halls... AND retrieve the ugly Christmas sweaters. It's the one time of the year that wearing over-size, teddy bear t-shirts is in. And I am taking advantage of it, ladies and gents. I done went on a shopping spree.

I would like to share with thee the wonders of my ugly sweater wardrobe (which my mother does NOT think fits the "ugly sweater" criteria. However, Mom, I will not give up! I have plans in the near future that may involve some gluing of tinsel and poking holes with ornaments...I DO have a Christmas party this weekend.) For comparison purposes, I have matched up my sweaters with other famous people who wear the same type.

#1: The "Brandon Heath" Sweater

This type of sweater is one that you can't decide if it is normal or not.
It signifies the fine line between "nerd" and "cool-kid"
In my case, the sweater equals nerd.
Look at my face- and the tassle on the zipper- and the TURTLENECK!
Yikes. 
Definitely an ugly sweater in my book :) 
Although you may see me wearing it in public.

 
See? I am telling you, there is a resemblance between Brandon and me :)

 
#2: The "Stuart" Sweater

 This is one of those not-so-cute sweaters that you wear because, well... it's comfy!
Just make sure the guy you like doesn't see you in it because it'll look like you've gained 20 lbs :)
Nevertheless, this sweater is a must because it shows you don't place your value in how you dress.
And wearing this sweater (which I am right now) makes me feel a sense of power.
Because, as Stuart says, "Today, I've decided to take a risk, and wear a new sweater"
 

 
Stuart from "Stuart Saves His Family."
If you haven't seen it, don't.
If you have, you are probably laughing hysterically right now.

 
#3: The Sandra Bullock Sweater

Anyone who has ever seen "While You Were Sleeping" KNOWS that this is one of those sweaters.
One of those that coaxes out the, "Hey Luce, I like your... uh... sweater."
Five sizes to big, but comfortable as nobody's business.  
While I admit my face looks a little more like Joe Junior than Sandra, you can't deny the fact that this sweater is practically the essence of the whole plot of that movie.


This is a really bad pic, but the only one I could find that remotely captures
 the sweaters Lucy wears in the movie. 


 Of course, there are many more types of ugly Christmas sweaters (including the "looking-at-you-hurts-me" type)"... If you have one and want to show me, please send me a pic! I'd love to see it :) If you don't have one, you better get one. There's no other time where you can look like an idiot but completely normal at the same time. Take advantage of the few weeks left where people will accept the weird things you never get to wear otherwise. Go out, and get yo-self a Christmas sweata!

"Code of Elves- #4. The second best way to spread Christmas cheer is wearing ugly sweaters this time of year!" Buddy the Elf*

*How many of you are going to go watch "Elf" to see if that was legit? :) LOL, anyone who has seen it in the last year know I am on the Naughty list for this one. Sadly, the quote is false :( I just made it up. There is no #4 in the Code of Elves, but IF there was, that would be it.

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