Today, I experienced a situation pretty far from anything I've ever heard discussed before. And even though they were using innuendos, it wasn't subtle enough that I couldn't understand to some degree.
I was in my theatre class, and my group was supposed to be talking to my teacher about our director's project. There were two older men, two younger men, and me. And somehow the conversation went downhill fast. The depth of the vulgarity expressed was unbelievable. I could not believe the way they were talking about women's bodies.
For a while, I felt frozen in my seat. I didn't know what to do... Eventually, the last straw broke and I couldn't take it anymore, so I left. I think the others could tell my state of disgust because as I walked out solemnly, one mentioned, "On that note..." and laughed.
Musing about this situation in my head, I got so angry. I wished as I walked away that I would've said something. I guess its better that I didn't because I wouldn't have "said" anything, I probably would've shouted it (not very nicely.)
I felt depressed, disheartened, and disgusted that those men had no respect for women's dignity. I felt angry that they talked about my gender as though our only purpose was to put on a show for them. Their derogatory remarks were mind-blowing. What was even worse is that they were older men. Like 40 years old. Yet still not grown up enough to know that women are not objects.
I know that men struggle a lot with lust and temptation, and I realize that women play a part in allowing ourselves to be treated disrespectfully. But guys, us girls need men to quit goofing around about our body parts because that is adding heavily to the problem. I have heard so many girls brush aside the crass comments and accept it because "that's the way boys are." I don't think so.
I think that we consider males to be boys for too long. I think once a kid is 14 years old (give or take :), he's old enough to start acting like a man.The definition of "a man" is a male adult. And no, the definition of "an adult" is not 18. You don't just grow up all of the sudden when you have a birthday. Becoming an adult means "to have attained full size and strength; to grow up and mature." So all those "boys" we readily excuse for disrespect have fully achieved the first part of becoming an adult, but they didn't seem to get the memo about the "growing up" part. Talking about girls like they are toys is not mature. We are living breathing human beings who need to be respected as more than the sum of our body parts.
Women need to see more men in action. I have heard way too many Christian girls say "guys are just like that." Not true. Show us different.
To be fair, for every inappropriate man I meet, I find another one who is striving for purity in his life. But not all girls have the opportunity to meet guys who are really trying. They think that all men are animals. Even I have thought this sometimes. If we saw what you were doing or thinking at any given moment, would you be showing us a man of purity or a man of lust?
If I could have the ears of all men for two minutes and 5 seconds, I would say this: Please be a real man. Instead of exercising your abs and busting it so you can have that six-pack, exercise your self control and bust it to become a man of God. Protect our dignity, not just with your own words and actions, but be mindful of other men too. There have been so many times I have been degraded and lusted after, and the men who were with me didn't do a thing to combat it. Stand up for us women, and tell us we are valued.
We need real men in this world. We need you.
"Be a man. You must be swift as a coursing river. With all the force of a great typhoon. Be a man. With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon" Mulan :) :)
