An Unbeetable Remedy

This morning, as usually happens on a monthly basis, I woke up with a severe case of dysmenorrhea. Aside from the fact that my abs and lower back were causing me discomfort (understatment) and the fact that I looked like a pregnant goose trying to waddle whenever I tried to walk anywhere (also an understatment), the worst part had to be that it woke me up a 3:40. In. The. Morning. It was painful. Literally.

I spent the next hour trying to go back to sleep, but that didn't happen. So I got up and wandered around the house trying to find solace and trying not to wake people up as I raided their rooms for heat pads.

I told myself NO Ibuprofen this time. I gave myself some encouraging speech about how in 5 days it would all be over, and I would be happy that I made the 'healthy' decision. Five minutes later, I vetoed myself.

 With the pain killer yet to kick in, I got a wild idea.

I don't know if it was the lack of sleep, or maybe I would've been just as crazy had I slept for 12 hours, but just then, I remembered. My doctor had told me the sure-fire way to get rid of cramping: Beets.

Being a little cuckoo in the head, I took my waddling self down to Yokes at 5:30 AM (emphasis on the AM part) to pick up some beets for my 'healthy' smoothie cramp reliever.  I think I was feeling a little guilty about the Ibu. Talk about overcompensation.

When I came home, I turned on the house fans, put on my gloves, peeled away, and plopped an entire beet into our blender. It looked so beautiful in there. Little did I know.

After adding some blueberries and peaches (not the sweetest fruits ever), I tried my concoction.

If any of you ever wants to try beets, try this first. Go outside, find a patch of dirt, throw a blueberrie on it, and heap yourself a spoonful. If that sounds tasty, come over. I have two more beets in my fridge and you are more than welcome to have them.

It was so gross. I kept adding more fruit to try to get it to taste better. Bad idea. The smoothie just kept getting bigger and bigger and tasted muddier and muckier with every bite.

I couldn't throw it away. Not after I'd gone to the store and paid for those beets. Not after I used all those delicious blueberries and peaches. And not when I knew that disgusting smoothie was my ticket to cramp free.

So I drank it. An entire glass. For breakfast. I gagged. I plugged my nose. And when I still had an entire serving left, I packed some for lunch. Granted, I couldn't bring myself to eat it all day, but I tried. Oh how I tried. But every time I smelled that earthy dirt smell in my smoothie, I gagged. Oh dear.

The rest is still in the fridge. And it will remain there until I either gather the courage to finish it or I quit feeling guilty and throw it out.

Looks can be deceiving...

If it looks like I'm falling asleep, its because I am :)

The funny thing is, even though it made me want to puke, I think the beets actually helped. I took my Ibuprofen around 5 and its currently 8:00pm and I haven't taken any since (which is pretty much unheard of). Either that or I've been healed, in which case I am throwing those beets out the window tomorrow morning.

I think there is a lesson to be learned from this experience. The beet actually looked pretty delicious, a pretty red color on the outside that makes you think its going to taste like a pomegranate or something. But it was disgusting and repulsive once you actually take a bite out of it.

That reminds me of people. Sometimes people can be beautiful and attractive on the outside, but inside they are bitter and ugly. Yes, maybe you can handle their company for a while, but pretty soon, the relationship will become less and less desireable.

Drinking that blech smoothie made me NOT want to be a person like that. I don't want people to be unpleasantly surprised if they get to know me and find out I'm a jerk. Ouch. Or maybe I'm just beeting myself up. HAHAHAHA.Oh boy. I need to get to bed.

The point is, don't be a beet. Be a banana or a strawberry or something sweet. Just please don't be a beet because I want to be your friend.

I am rambling at this point, but I will remind you I've been up for 17 hours. If you've learned one thing from this blogpost, let it be this... Actually, I don't know what you learned. Beet's me. HAHAHAHA!!

Ok seriously now, I'm done.

"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

Failing to Succeed

I heard some words this week that truly inspired me. They were:

"Hey, so when do we eat???"

"Sure, you hungry for failure? Maybe a side of unemployment? Cause that's what's for lunch."

These words inspired me not because they were extraordinary, but because they'd were real. They were true. They were hilariously painful. Ouch.

I've been thinking a lot about success lately and what that means. I am the type of person who would rather be classified as successful and do little than the person who is ordinary but does much. If I know there is a potential that I may fail, you will find me heading the other direction. Nothing doing.

Yet I've been thinking recently about I can't be truly successful without the potential of failing. Every class I take at CBC, I could fail. Granted, the likelihood of that happening is slim, but still. It could happen.

What's even worse is that, in my mind, if I am not 100% successful, I've failed. For example (I can't believe I'm admitting this) I almost didn't make the Presidents List this last year. Sure I would've made the Dean's List still, but I was super mad (until I found a loophole in the syllabus and raised my grade 2%). Don't you find that slightly ridiculous and majorly obsessive? I am a straight A student, yet when I don't get 100%, you'd think I flunked. Sometimes I just feel like facepalming myself. Having one of those moments now.

It's not just school though. That I can control to some degree. Recently, as I work at a library, I've been seeing all these photos of skanky celebrities with chests bigger than coconuts (*just quoting the Bible here :)* and booties bigger than elephants and abs perfectly toned as they flaunt what they got for everybody and their dog.

I don't have a six-pack. For crying out loud I don't even have a one pack (if there is such a thing). I got curves, but I don't look half as proportional as Taylor Swift or Katy Perry. I had to look at myself in comparasion and ask, "What do I see as successful? Would I really want to be like them?"

No. I wouldn't.

If successful is being on the front page of "Rolling Stone" or "People" wearing nothing but a malfunctioning loincloth (I mean seriously, Tarzan was more modest then that ya'll), then I will be a failure in Hollywood's eyes forever. And if success is defined by how defined you are on the outside, then I'll never get there.

But if success is defined by having someone look into my eyes instead of straight to my exposed chest; if success is defined by working hard even when I'd rather be blogging (hehe... In progress :); if success is becoming the best version of yourself for the good of God's kingdom; then maybe I am more successful than I think.

And you know what? Sometimes I'm going to mess up. I'm going to stick my foot in my big mouth. I may get lazy and take my eyes off the prize *hypothetically speaking, lol*: I'm going to be dumb sometimes, like when I stay up late blogging when I work the opening shift (aka leave my house at 6:30) the next morning Sometimes I can't sleep. Sometimes I don't have time to shower and smell nice. Sometimes I get distracted and don't pay attention- like just now. Sometimes it happens. Oh well.

All I know, is I am hungry. Literally, yes (As usual, lol) and figuratively. And yep, sometimes, my meal is going to consist of failure. And ya, it doesn't taste that good. But it's that bitter-sweet taste that keeps you growing, it keeps you accountable. It keeps you humble. And I've heard humbleness tastes good with pie... :) So while I'm on the road to success by Heaven's standards, a light snack on the way will keep me going so that I may, God willing, eventually reach my destination marked by my growth and not by my status of earthly success.