On a more serious note, I haven't blogged recently because there has been so much going on the past month. For one thing, my oldest sister got MARRIED! It's crazy because all of the sudden, you realize how grown up you really are. This wedding was REAL. It wasn't a game this time, like all the weddings we pretended to have as kids.
The most difficult thing for me in the past weeks was how much the "sister bond" had changed. Stephanie, Elizabeth, and I were closer than close growing up. We spent youthful days dancing the chicken dance, doing fashion shows, and exercising our thespian skills through plays and videos. Even before I was old enough to be a big sis, my big sister's were my bestest friends.
As we got older (and more interested in talking to each other instead of filming each other), Lizzy and I would always squish into Steph's bed late in the night. We would laugh ourselves silly, do Mr. Bean impersonations, cry in each others arms, and share our hearts. One thing that I will always appreciate about my sisters is that they get it. I remember that no one could understand what I was going through better than my sisters. The heartbreak over that boy? They understood it. The betrayal of that friend? They knew how it felt. The problems haunting our family life? They lived through them too. I could confide in them, and they brought me the validation I needed by listening to me.
Lizzy, Steph, and I basking in the sun. I guess this is something
we never grew out of... A few days before the wedding, us girls
went tanning together- for old time's sake :-) Actually, it's
because we wanted a tan, but whatever.
As we got older (and more interested in talking to each other instead of filming each other), Lizzy and I would always squish into Steph's bed late in the night. We would laugh ourselves silly, do Mr. Bean impersonations, cry in each others arms, and share our hearts. One thing that I will always appreciate about my sisters is that they get it. I remember that no one could understand what I was going through better than my sisters. The heartbreak over that boy? They understood it. The betrayal of that friend? They knew how it felt. The problems haunting our family life? They lived through them too. I could confide in them, and they brought me the validation I needed by listening to me.
Obviously, things are different now. Stephanie's bed is a little crowded now, and I assume she'll be doing Mr. Bean impersonations with Philip into the night instead of us girls. And as many of you know, Lizzy is moving to Montana come August, so my room will be deprived of our nightly sleepovers. Sometimes I can't bear the thought of how different my life is going to be without my sisters by my side.
I've struggled with feelings of being left behind. It is such a sad feeling to watch my two best friends move into a different stage of life... without me. They are fulfilling the great plans they were made for. I'm so happy for them, but I also am scared to death. I am going to be the oldest and it's freaking me out. For so many years, I've had my three older siblings to look up to. Now it's my turn to be "big sis" and I feel totally unprepared!
Thankfully, my older siblings have done a great job of figuring out how to do things for me. I've examined all of the choices they've made and determined the path I'd like to take. Thank you Brandon, Stephanie, and Elizabeth for being people I can look up to and trust. You've been wonderful examples to me, and even when you weren't being a good example, you realized it, admitted it, and chose the better path instead. Being a good example isn't making perfect choices every time- it's how you react after you make a bad choice. You've shown me how to do it, guys, and I'm so thankful! Jacob and Becky- oh boy... I hope you have a lot of mercy, because I am flying off the seat of my pants here!
The sisters at Stephanie's going away party. *Sigh*
I'm going to miss you guys! I guess it's just you and me, Becky!
I've struggled with feelings of being left behind. It is such a sad feeling to watch my two best friends move into a different stage of life... without me. They are fulfilling the great plans they were made for. I'm so happy for them, but I also am scared to death. I am going to be the oldest and it's freaking me out. For so many years, I've had my three older siblings to look up to. Now it's my turn to be "big sis" and I feel totally unprepared!
Thankfully, my older siblings have done a great job of figuring out how to do things for me. I've examined all of the choices they've made and determined the path I'd like to take. Thank you Brandon, Stephanie, and Elizabeth for being people I can look up to and trust. You've been wonderful examples to me, and even when you weren't being a good example, you realized it, admitted it, and chose the better path instead. Being a good example isn't making perfect choices every time- it's how you react after you make a bad choice. You've shown me how to do it, guys, and I'm so thankful! Jacob and Becky- oh boy... I hope you have a lot of mercy, because I am flying off the seat of my pants here!
My AWESOME siblings that I love. One thing I love about this picture (besides
the fact that it's amazing) is how everyone's personality is evident.
Brandon: The "More Cowbell" shirt says it all. He is so entertaining.
Stephanie: She's always been the sweet one.
Lizzy: Oh dear... Troublemaker should've been her middle name.
Me: If you didn't notice, my finger is totally pointed the wrong way. I am the
"different" one :)
Jacob: Obviously not excited to get his picture taken... he's the active one.
Becky: She's just cute!
I think I can speak on behalf of all of my siblings when I say this: Mom, you are the best. Thanks so much for raising us to be who we are today. We love you!
I am so thankful to God for giving me the wonderful family I have. I trust my siblings so much- they know me so well sometimes it scares me. How many times have they shown me something about myself that I didn't know (I may not have wanted to know, but they told me anyways :)? They've loved me through thick and thin- and they've forgiven me a lot (even when I ate their baseball seeds without asking :) I love my family and it makes me sad to know that we are all parting ways. But thankfully, family is family. We'll always have memories, inside jokes, and a special family bond to each other. I love you all! Thanks for loving me too.
"We are afraid that if people really knew us they wouldn’t love us…. And although we are afraid to reveal ourselves becasue of the possibility of rejection, it is only by revealing ourselves that we will ever open the possibility of truly being loved." Matthew Kelly
I'm pretty sure that I've been mostly an example of what NOT to do :) And actually, Francis should have been my middle name...orrrrr troublemaker :D And don't think we will forgive you for those baseball seeds. I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure it says in the Bible: thou shalt not steal sunflower seeds from siblings or else thou shalt not live.
ReplyDeleteOn a more serious note, I'm really sad to leave too. And maybe we can have late night skypes or something. Totally not the same, but at least I'll be back to party next summer :D That's something to look forward to! Love you lots!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure it also says in the Bible, "Thou shalt not threaten they sister when she eats sunflower seeds that do not belong to her. If thee harasses thy sister in this way, thou shalt DIE." Yep, I'm pretty sure that's what it says... in The Message Bible at least.
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